A multitude of recent scientific studies clearly indicate many differences between men’s and women’s brains as well as in the way they use them. While these studies do show differences, it is still too soon for scientists to know exactly what these differences mean.
In general, however, it can be said that women tend to use both sides of their brains simultaneously, while men use one side or the other. This means that a man tends to use either his left brain language skills or his right brain spatial problem-solving skills, while a woman uses both at the same time.
Studies have revealed that some women have much more corpus callosum, or connective tissue, between the two hemispheres of the brain, which would account for a woman’s tendency to use both sides of the brain simultaneously. While some men may have more corpus callosum than some women, these men still use only one side of the brain at he same time, while the women use both. The impact of this difference is staggering.
While a woman may be quicker to speak out about her feelings, a man will tend to more quickly act to solve a problem. While she will want to explore a problem more fully through talking, a man will be restless to do something about it. While neither approach is necessarily better, the best approach is when you work together.
With an awareness of how men and women are different, you are freed from the tendency to try to change your partners at those times when you are not getting what you want. With a greater level of acceptance and understanding, not only does love flourish, but you can also much more wisely and effectively apply new skills for getting what you want.
Trying to ignore differences, however, only creates more confusion and frustration between the sexes. The generalizations you make about men and women are certainly not true for everyone at all times, but they are true for a lot of people. When they do not apply to your situation or experience, just set them aside like an outfit that others may buy but that you don’t. What is most important is that when the differences do show up, you will have positive and useful relationship skills for coping with them.
Understanding the broad categories of differences helps you to accept them in a noncritical way, and then assists you in working with them instead of against them. These differences begin to show up even more when couples begin to have intimate relationships; in some cases, they begin to show up still more when the couple has children.
When a woman is upset, her first tendency is to talk about it, then as she continues to talk, her cognitive abilities set in and she can think about what she is saying and feeling and thus sort it out. She starts out in the feeling part of the brain, then she travels to the communication part and from there she goes to the thinking portion. This is her most natural route because this is the order in which her skills developed. Gradually, she develops the ability to feel, talk and think at the same time.
For a man, his process of dealing with feelings is different because his skills developed in another order. First, his feeling center develops, next his action center and then his thinking. When he is upset, his first tendency is to do something about it. Action leads him to clearer thinking. Gradually, he develops the ability to feel, act and think at the same time.